only a part.

maybe just maybe.... im tired of being me... being myself... that everybody expect alot from.. I wanna be busy.. active... i wanna do alot of things even multi tasking... i wanna cram iwanna do alot of things at the same time i wanna do those things even it make me collapsed in the middle of it... but i wanna do it my way... i just cant keep myself from doing things that i wanna do...

i wanna do those things that i do ryt now... kht napapagod na ko sa mga yun.... i can manage those things... pero .............im just pressured....

hnd na sya yung gusto ko na naeenjoy ko.....ngayun ...i just feel pressured.
big things...like dapat magaling ka ganyan....matalino ka dapat, dapat makapasok ka sa gantong university... tapos president pa ng icarus ... like everybody says ...
na im almost perfect!!!!! i hate it.

im not almost perfect...im way back pa nun, im way far from being perfect.....way way far.... from that. everybody expects me to be like dad , to be as bright as him, to be good as him. im expected to do this and that to icarus...im the damn president, i just wanna dance, i just enjoy to dance.

i dont study! i just enjoy listening to the teachers ... i dnt wanna study at all... i just enjoy numbers.... i just enjoy for the fact that im playing with them... im not a fast multiplier or sumthing..... im slower than a grade schooler

i dnt wanna talk.. i just wanna listen to alll people .. i dnt want them to ask for any of my opinions .. i dnt wanna get involve in fights i have dreams .... dreams that i wana ENJOY...

I dnt wanna talk... i just wanna talk when i got sumthing that i wanna talk about... i dnt want people to ask me to talk... its hard for me to talk... its even harder for me to let myself open up.

there's so much more that i wanna say. but... i still dnt knw how to say it... im sori ... i just dnt wanna talk ryt now... i dnt knw how to say it... there's so much in my mind that i wanna say but it seems like its a bit blurry... that i cant seem to understand... i just.......................dnt understand myself ryt now. i seem happy... but why am i like this? pls bear with me... i just nid you to understand... im so sori...